I’ll never go in there, it seemed to say. Try and put me in. Go ahead, just try it! So, as to not be intimidated by a piece of trash, I bent over like I’ve done a million times and a red-hot iron stabbed me in the lower back.
Blinding pain greeted my attempt to stand but I managed to get to bed without waking up the whole house.
“What’s wrong with you?” my wife murmured as I fell into bed.
I sucked in a breath. “I hurt my back.”
“I bent over to pick up a piece of trash.”
I could hear her smirk though there was no sound. “I’m sorry,” she said. The trash had won.
The next morning I could hardly get out of bed. As I waddled to the bathroom I began to calculate in my head. I was on shift the next day (I’m a Firefighter/Paramedic). How many sick hours did I have left? What am I gonna be able to get done today? I wasn’t sure about the first question but the answer to the second was “nothing.”
My face twisted like a gargoyle as I made my way back to bed. I reached the edge and had a startling revelation. I could pray. The content wasn’t what made it startling. It was startling because it took me that long to think of it or hear it.
I fell back on the bed and reached for my lower back. I asked the Holy Spirit to increase His presence and waited. I commanded and released healing in the name of Jesus. I told all pain and inflammation to leave and whatever else the Lord led me to do. Then I stood and laughed out loud.
The pain in my back had gone from searing to a dull throb. The discomfort was gone by at least half. I twisted and bent and laughed again. Over the course of the day it reduced even further until it was gone completely.
My question is this: Why did it take me so long to pray for healing? I was sprinting down the road of concession before I considered prayer. I wouldn’t have done that if it were someone else.
But let’s make it a bit more personal for all of us. Why can we quickly pray for others to be healed but when it comes to our own bodies, or even our families, shy away? Is it fear that we won’t be healed and they will be the constant reminder of what we assume to be our failure? Is it an issue with our perceived worth and value? Maybe God will heal the other person but he won’t heal me.
Truth is that it’s probably a Thanksgiving table full of reasons and our plate is pilled high with bits of different flavors. Just because our adversary loses ground in one area it doesn’t always mean his other strongholds just melt away. Praying for strangers is different than praying for family members or ourselves. There are different issues involved, a different set of blocks.
I can’t say what that specific issue(s) is for you but I can say that it probably has to do with love. That is, the revelation of whom we really are in him. What he thinks about us. How he feels about us. What he wants to do for us. Negative behavior patterns indicate and point to cracks in our foundation.
I know there are still cracks in mine. That’s what this journey is about. I am becoming the image of Christ. Cracks are painful but when they are exposed we have an opportunity to grow. And I think the smile on God’s face shines brighter than the sun when we take a step forward.
Jesse and Kara Birkey
**We (Kara and I) are looking for testimonies of supernatural resurrection for an exciting new project. If you have a story of this nature (personal or otherwise) please share it with us HERE.**